It’s been a week after I came back to Taiwan.
To be honest, the first week was like a hell… I was suffering from jet lag; I had a fight with my family about my future; I missed my days in the UK BADLY; I couldn’t find a friend to drink with, and my nose and eyes got allergy again.
I know it’s warm in Taitung, my hometown. The weather is nice (It’s 27℃ today! Can you imagine that?), and people are very friendly. All my family and friends gave me a warm-welcome after seeing me back. All the food here is goddamn delicious, and the life living in Taiwan is really convenient. Shops close at 9 or even 10pm, there’re convenient stores run 24 hours and can be found almost every corner on the streets. It’s easy to go to the doctors as well. You may have to wait for a bit when you go, but you don’t have to wait for 1 to 2 weeks.
Life seems to be perfect and I shouldn’t complain about anything. However, there is some stress living with my family again after staying overseas for almost 2 years.
I think we actually don’t really understand each other.
They don’t know what I have changed and what I like now, neither do I. I’m not familiar with their lifestyle, neither do them. For example, I forgot that I have to soak the cut apple in salted water to prevent it from getting yellow as I always eat an apple directly without cutting it. Also, they don’t drink so they don’t know how much I miss the time drinking and chatting freely with my friends in the UK.
As for my future… AHHHHHHHHHH
I wouldn’t say that they don’t support what I want to do. We just couldn’t have a proper conversation as we expect very differently from each other. It’s complicated. VERY COMPLICATED!
I can sense the sign of stress easily now. My hands start shaking without any reason again; I couldn’t breathe smoothly; I couldn’t fall asleep easily at night even though I was really tired; I start to scratch my head again… It looks bad, isn’t it?
Well, fortunately, I became stronger and was no longer the girl who could only cry at the corner of the room. I know what I should do now when those signs show up.
I talk to people who I trust about my worries; I read my favourite books after taking a shower with hot water; I make myself a nice cup of tea and listen to my favourite music; I take a walk in the neighbourhood and look at the trees and the sky for a while.
Plus, I write. I write how I feel honestly, here. As I promised, “I will take good care of myself.”
Those problems are still there, but there is no need to rush. “Take a step at a time. It’s alright.” Slowly but surely, I’m still on my way.